Yo bitches,
I need to break up with my SO. There, I said it. Damn, now I guess I need to follow through. As much as I love her, I need to channel my true bitchiness to tell her some things about herself that suck for her and suck even worse for me. I need to do it, dammit. I need to.
So I figured this would be the tribe to join. I'll consider myself welcomed.
Kisses
I need to break up with my SO. There, I said it. Damn, now I guess I need to follow through. As much as I love her, I need to channel my true bitchiness to tell her some things about herself that suck for her and suck even worse for me. I need to do it, dammit. I need to.
So I figured this would be the tribe to join. I'll consider myself welcomed.
Kisses
posted by:
|
SF Bay Area
|
-
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Mon, May 21, 2007 - 6:23 PMA warm and britchy welcome, Mammoth! You are in the right place. You need to muster that inner bitch and tell your girlfriend what's up. Do you want to work things out? Or is it hopeless? If it's hopeless, fuck it. Get it out of your system. If it's worth working out to you, no problem, but put your foot down and get all that shit of your chest.
Maybe write down everything you want to say to her here so we can give you our opinions/pointers or help generate some extreme-bitch swollen ovaryness (is that word? is now) that you need before proceeding. We're good for that. -
-
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Mon, May 21, 2007 - 11:46 PMalrighty dammit. . . didn't think the soul-baring, inner-bitch-conjuring convo was gonna happen for a while, but due to unforeseen circumstances, it's gonna happen tomorrow. she's coming back into town unexpectedly early, and there's no time like the, uh, present?
i am going to say:
get your shit together
don't expect me to clean up your messes
don't make plans to do things that are contingent upon me going out of my way to do you a favor
don't assume i am always available to help you
don't assume i can keep waiting around for you
don't call me again unless you can fulfill these needs of mine (and the others we have supposedly been "working on" for a while now)
oh yeah, and
i love you -
-
Unsu...
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Tue, May 22, 2007 - 3:00 PMSounds perfect to me. And welcome :)
-
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Fri, June 15, 2007 - 2:49 PMokay...sorry for the california style psychobabble.....but i just can't help but think you might turn to the mirror and talk to yourself instead.....how about:
1. get your shit together
2. don't expect me to like you cleaning up other people's messes so you can feel capable
3. learn to say NO to being used and quit doing favors for others just to feel wanted
4. quit making yourself available to selfish people just to feel needed
5. quit waiting around for others so that you can avoid doing the inner work necessary to love yourself
6. don't accept any phone calls or relationship from anyone until you are fully prepared to enter into a relationship with yourself and create the love internally that you are desperately looking for in others now
sorry, but i just had a serious "get the fuck real" week with myself....spent the last friggin week in bed crying until i slapped myself around a bit....my issues might not even be your issues, but one thing i learned this week was that i was seriously enabling others to use me so that i could feel loved and wanted....then i was walking away with a chip on my shoulder thinking everyone else was a fukn asshole for not treating me right....when it was actually ME who LOOKED for these assholes so that i could somehow feel completed....truth was, it was ME who was getting something out of being used...it made me feel wanted and needed...it wasn't THEIR fault
so something in the way you phrased your comments to your SO reminded me of shit i used to say to my various SO's throughout my life...again, maybe i'm totally off base....but seriously, are you allowing this person to treat you this way? are you staying because you actually freely unconditionally love this person or because they help you fill the holes in yourself?
or just tell me to fuck off...that's cool too...lmao -
-
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Wed, June 20, 2007 - 1:56 PMHey you know what, I really appreciate this kind of thing - this is part of what I love about tribe, bc you rarely hear things like this from friends, etc. Sometimes only perfect strangers can this kind of shit to you.
Honestly I think it was a combination of needing to take a better look at myself and also helping her take a better look at herself. That's the short version anyway.
I definitely did not go into it thinking that I was blameless. I just knew what I needed from her and what I wasn't getting. And now that we've talked about it (A LOT) we've helped each other address things within ourselves that only a loving partner can help you see. And I know that on our own, we've both been realizing things about ourselves.
But I really do love the "get the fuck real" advice. Even if it's not spot on, it's something that needs to be heard/(read?) sometimes. -
-
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Wed, June 20, 2007 - 2:32 PMscore one for the constructive bitching.
-
-
-
-
-
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Fri, June 8, 2007 - 1:47 PMJUST SHOOT DER FUCKER!
-
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Wed, June 20, 2007 - 1:51 PMYou know what's beautiful about conversations like this? When I am making a genuine attempt at being honest and also at being sensitive, they lead to great things - like a mended relationship that is doing better than ever.
Not very bitchy, I know. -
-
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Wed, June 20, 2007 - 2:38 PMSo how is it going? Are things better/easier to deal with now that you had "the talk"?
-
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Fri, June 29, 2007 - 10:03 PMYes, Mammoth, an update, please. (Maybe they've just been busy having all that renewed love nooky. Can I get some of that, please?)
Seems like you had to get in touch with the bitch in you in order to let the stuff out to work through it. Isn't it funny how we sometimes don't share the important things with our loved ones because we love them and don't want to burden them or seem petty or we just want to be accepting and forgiving and then all of a sudden we're ready to explode?
I, for one, am very happy you seem to have gotten the love back and moved on to a new phase of your relationship, Mammoth. This is what real love's all about, in my not so humble opinion. -
-
Re: Newbie needs help reconnecting with her inner bitch
Wed, July 4, 2007 - 9:16 PMLove it! What good timing I have in reading this. . . today is our 1 yr. anniversary (I know, what the hell am I doing on tribe right now? Oh yeah, recovering from last night's champagne fueled, wild monkey. . . well you get the picture).
"Seems like you had to get in touch with the bitch in you in order to let the stuff out to work through it."
Yup. So happy it happened the way it did. We're doing better than ever before and I really think we reached new levels of honesty with eachother. Not that I think that's the end-all be-all. I'm sure we'll go through shit again and again and again, and I think every day is equipping us to deal with it in better ways!
OK, this is getting schmoopy. I promise I'll come up with something really bitchy to share with you guys soon. Like how some teenager in a dropped Honda was riding my ass in a residential neighborhood the other day and I stopped at a stop sign, threw on the emergency lights, got out of my car and yelled at him, "Can you please slow down?" (Hey, at least I said please)
-
-
